This past Saturday I facilitated a poetry workshop but not just any poetry workshop, a workshop designed to create space for emotional pain, healing, anxious thoughts and all those taboo feelings we are often told make us weird. These same feelings also make us feel as though we’re the only ones feeling this way. I’ve facilitated the workshop in person several times but this was my first virtual one and during a time of unrest in the world. I just knew we needed to get some things off of our chest.
You can imagine the excitement I felt when I saw that 30 people (30 was the max) signed up for my workshop. Granted some folks who registered are my die hard crew who support me in anything I do - shout out to y’all! Love them! What’s more is that while they may have signed up to show me support, the outcome was for them. Others joined from Kentucky, California, Canada and Idaho!
Diversity of thought is something I am passionate about because we often tend to stay in circles where we share similar beliefs … so, yea I was excited when I heard the different cities and states where everyone was joining us from.
This workshop is about choosing YOU. It’s about self-care. It’s about being intentional with whatever feelings may arise and seeing where they lead you. A lot of the feedback I received (I surveyed the participants) stated that the workshop was helpful in processing emotions. And that’s just it - a safe space to process! Mission accomplished.
Sometimes the very title of the workshop can be misinterpreted as the word healing sounds scary to some of us. Healing sounds like a part of us that we want to ignore until we are in the space to welcome it. In my experience, healing was a choice. I had to say boy bye to some toxic behavior in my life. Did I know it was toxic? Nope! Did I later notice a pattern that ruined relationships - YES! Did I then become intentional about what I say, how I say it, and why I react a certain way? YES YES YES. I still need to do more of the inner work don’t get me wrong. I ain’t arrived anywhere but to the Bronx, NY after more than 7 years in LA. Woot Woot! Missing my hikes though. Missing. my. hikes.
My spoken word EP was created to not only share my story but to (again) show others that they are not alone and that they are in charge of their emotions and how they show up in the world. I shared in the workshop that at times my reaction to certain situations came from an angry place. No one told me anything, it kind of became the normal thing that Jen did and it was brushed off as such. Eventually, I wasn’t okay with that but I didn’t see how I was showing up in the world. I hadn’t taken the time nor had I done the work that it takes to become self-aware. Talk about a blind spot.
It took questioning myself, analyzing my thought patterns, going back to my childhood to see if that brought up something - I was really digging deep. I wanted to know the WHY so badly that I was willing to push through all of the uncomfortable feelings. And that paid off! Well, sort of. Now I tend to overanalyze, I’ll find a balance haha. Let me be very clear that this was the good LORD that led me down this path. You know the judge-y mean god everyone talks about? Well, maybe not him. I’m referring to GOD, who saw this hot messery and said, let me show you a better way. Choose LIFE. That’s a blog for another day, chile. We’ll get there.
“In our defense, we put up walls. For our growth, we break them down”
Back to the workshop. This isn’t a one and done situation nor a 3 steps to healing sermon. However, it is a journey you must to be willing to embark on. One thing to note is that we will never feel ready to face what we have pushed aside for years and years. In our defense, we put up walls. For our growth, we break them down.
Therefore, maybe processing it through poetry and the prompts of the workshop, or hearing someone else share a similar experience, or seeing others be courageous about their own struggle, or simply joining to be a part of a special community - all of these are valid reasons to join the next one. Or maybe you can think of another, go with that one.
See you at the next one! (Date is forthcoming)
Thank you to all of you who invested in yourselves + gave up two hours of your Saturday to write about life. I geek out about these things!
Follow the thoughts + feelings, they are telling you something and all the while, be gentle with yourself as things come up.
We are all doing the best we can! WE GOT THIS!